just emo

i watched pinkpau's video for the oreo moment thingy.

it makes me thinks

about FAMILY. my family

i know that my parents love me so much but what i did over the year had made them so sad and dissapointed. even i was dissapointed of myself. i cant stop losing faith in myself but they didn't. why they do not??i rather they did. it makes me look even worst when they treat me good, i don't deserve that. i am just so bad. a bad daugther. all i did was something a parent would not want to see.

i knew it from the begining that only family will be the one who will stay with me until the end of the day, but why i m still acting like the way i did??WHY?? i love them, no doubt. but i kinda lost myself in some place. some part of me was missing other than those that i was searching for in the beginning. i began to loss even more.

there are so many things that i made it happen and these are the things that made me unhappy. It was 5 in the morning but i am still not in bed, because i just cant sleep. i can only sleep when i was too tired to think, when i will fall asleep straight away when i close my eyes.

i won't judge myself. i just wonder.

Can i??