clean

today is a very special day to me and this little bloggie.

its our BIRTHDAY!!!

that was my last year, my life and this blog. so many things that i did not record here, happy events and gatherings, my emo times, sad things happened. it was a very fruitful year, not because it ended well, but because i learned a lot and most importantly, i know myself better now.

i do not know how different i am from the past. i heard a lot from my parents, aunts and uncles about me in my younger days( when i am a baby). i have my primary school teachers said i am very quiet in primary school, they are so surprise to see me talking myself out when i went back to pay them a visit during secondary school days. then, i was this student who was too active in co-co until my teacher had to tell me to cut down on my activities. i was once members/ ex-co of 4 societies, i bet they are people who beat my record, but that was too much for me. i had regular practices for choir, competition and performances, outings and meetings of societies, phone calls after phone calls at night to discuss about our "club business" =p that was the good old days

then it was time to make a choice for life. I am glad i listen to my dad, how can i forget i told myself when i was a little girl that i have to believe in my parents decision. he made me study form 6, he made me study science. i know i take a longer road, but that was not a wrong thing to do. i came what i am now.

sometimes being people is so difficult for me. whether to live under people's expectation or to live to my own wishes. i tried out a lot, too many that i failed many times. i came back with wounds and cuts and bruises. i did not become stronger, i do not know why. i suddenly realize there are so many things in life that we cannot take control, things that we cannot expect too much but yet, we want too much. but in the other hand, there is this tagline saying that nothing is impossible. so, how?? it's just too confusing, sometimes.

time has come, i should have learn to clear up everything. i should know my life, i should take control of it. i should do whatever i can to mend the mistakes i made, the mess i create. i made my choice 1 year ago, when i was thinking too much. but since it was the choice i made, alongside with so many other people, all of us shall make it happen. why are they people who can make it, why not me? i am enough of myself saying too much, i want me to prove to myself.

i believe in me, because it is me.

it will be a clean start. all over again.

happy birthday