testy

testy test

Hate

hmm...life

so, my last post was in November 2011. le sigh.
was thinking to start writing blog again. without a proper place to express myself is bad for health, like for real.
Went to see the doctor this morning because i had not been feeling really well this two weeks. dizzy all the time, hungry most of the time. but no headache, no stomach pain, no vomit, no fainting. The doctor cannot really figure out what happened, so it might be just me being paranoid over things in life.

It's like a norm for people to ask "How's life?", "How are you?" when we bump into each other or a way to start a conversation. This is the worst question ever. How's my life seriously? Nothing major not-okay things happened, but it will take me quite some time to recall the happy moments of life. #badmemory

Writing up to this point, i realise i was kind of pessimistic. No more spark that ignite my life. Not much thing that interest me, deep inside. Everything had become something i had to do, instead of something i wanted to do. Because what i wanted to do, me also no idea. Maybe i was seriously hit by the reality. Stress over financial situation. Not yet graduating at the age of 24, stress. Do not even know if i will be graduating, stress. Not getting a job yet, stress. Not knowing where to settle myself after university, stress. No shopping, stress.

Everything that i have had today, doesn't belongs to me. No, i didn't pay for anything. If the person who is paying for them are taking them back, congrats, I AM DOOMED!! Can i survive? I think i will die.

Conclusion, i pretty much hate myself. Like the myself, now. As of this current stage.

Shadow

Reading blogs again. Mixed feeling to see what she blogged about previously and how she walked out from shadow of the past and shinning towards the future

Sometimes you thought you would go back, without you knowing, you are happily going forward.*grin* Things happened least expected.

source: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/boy-with-balloons/

Early in the morning

Was snatched a few house away from the place i stay this morning when i was walking to work. Everything was like normal, seeing some night shift worker walking back home, looking tired. A aunty cleaning rubbish outside her house, i think. Then i heard motorbike coming from behind, then i turned. To my shock, the motorbike was coming directly to me. This shouldn't be the route they take because i am standing very near to the gate of the house. I KNEW IT WAS COMING. The guy behind was extending his hand towards me. I start to back off more and hug my bag tightly to the side.
I couldn't stand still, i fell to the ground. The guy jumped down from the bike, WALKED towards me and wanted to rob the bag from me. I tried to kick. I thought he would go off because i was fighting. (what a stupid and naive thought at that moment) Then i saw his face. No fear, no anger, emotionless. It was just like he was doing his job, he NEEDS to have the bag. He snatched. I know I should not be holding tight to my bag anymore, there was no point fighting over. I loosen my grip. I saw the handle of my bag being tore and it falls to the ground. I saw the friend was waiting for him on the motor, moving forward and away from me. He ran to the bike, jump on and then they rode off. Leaving me, on the floor, screaming like mad woman(really like mad woman, i didnt tie my hair this morning). Then i feel my pocket, i have my phone. Thank god i still have my phone. I stand up and start to make call.
I turned around and look at the street. The aunty was still there, holding her hand over her head and look stunned. The worker who just got back from work, with plastic bag in his hand, was looking at me, disbelief that he just witness a snatch case, early in the morning. A guy from a few house away was outside of his house, look at me too, stunned. My landlord heard my scream and ran out. She heard me leaving the house and then heard the scream, she knew it's me.
Everything happened, i think in merely 1-2 minutes. I was calm, i called my colleague, told her to tell my boss that i was unable to work today. I told my landlord to change the padlock of the house, my keys were inside my bag. I tried to recall what was inside my bag, stuffs in my purse. I called people that i need to call. My landlord come with medicine and help me to apply on my bruises.
I updated my Facebook status, i need to warn my friends about it, especially those who walks to work or need to get out of the house compound to get into car. We watch so many cases on the news, and we be careful. We put the bag at the correct side. We didn't pull out our purse. No jewelries. But, if it gonna happened, it will.
Thank god that I am safe. They did not do anything to me, not much body contact. They did not push me, did not hit me, did not hit me. Their target was all these while, my bag. I guess, after all, I am still lucky.

challenge

gonna see if i can survive with 30 ringgit for one week!!! gonna survive with bread, milk, cereal, oat, milo and fruits for one week!!!

but i am sure it's gonna last only one week :(

update: fail kau kau the challenge..lol..i told my parents imma spend only 100 this week on food..then i come back and spend 30 on dinner on a sunday night :S